Global Warming Conference Runs Cold

December 9, 2005

 

The United Nations Climate Change Conference recently wrapped up in Montreal and it couldn't have come at a more embarrassing time. While dirt people from around the globe gathered to chide the United States for its almost single-handed role in so-called global warming , a record-breaking cold snap gripped much of the country. According to the National Weather Service in Wichita, Kansas, “this current stretch of zero or above weather is the longest since weather records have been kept in Wichita, which date back to 1888.” Whoops.

 

Global warming? Ah, but they now have an answer for that. You see, since we're not actually getting warmer, the wacked-out eco-freaks have changed their spiel. You see, it's not just global warming the evil United States is inflicting on the rest of the world, it's climate change . That way you cover all bets. If the temperature goes up, it's our fault. If it goes down, it's our fault. If there's too much rain or if it's too dry, it's our fault.

 

They've now come up with this new theory, too. They say that our emissions of greenhouse gases have caused global warming over the Arctic. Why isn't there global warming here? Well, they explain all that. It's simple. Our SUVs are causing the polar ice caps to melt and that's causing cold air to be released into the air and that cold air is drifting down here and bringing all this record cold and snow. I'm not makin' this stuff up. Who could?

 

You know what the Eskimos said at the Climate Change Conference? They said if we wouldn't run the heat so much down here in America, we wouldn't be causing the polar ice caps to melt which releases fresh water into the ocean and ruins their fishing. Well, guess what? If they'd all just move to Florida, they wouldn't need to run the heat at all – and there's plenty of fishing.

 

One feminist group at the conference even blamed men for global warming claiming women have to suffer the consequences.

 

At least one person was making some sense at the conference. That was, of all people, the co-founder of Green Peace, Patrick Moore. Moore praised the United States for its honesty. He said at least we admit that we have no intention of holding to the Kyoto Protocol while the other countries claim they'll reduce CO2s but have no intention of following through. Moore rejects alarmist predictions of human-induced global warming adding, “I think this whole Kyoto process is a colossal waste of time and money.”

 

The most telling rhetoric came from Catherine Pearce of the group Friends of the Earth International. She said industrialized nations like the U.S. owed a “climate debt.” We're exploiting the rest of the world, she said, and we need to make things right. How do we do that? “What Northern [Hemisphere] countries can be doing is to repay some of their [climate] debt in terms of resources, financing, [and] technology to countries of the South[ern Hemisphere].” The earth's resources should be “shared” by everyone, she added.

 

That's really what this whole global warming movement is all about. It's about taking from the producing nations and giving to the non-producing nations. Ironically, many of these nations have vast resources at their disposal but the dirt people stand in their way of utilizing them. It simply wouldn't do if these third-world nations became self-sufficient. Then these malcontents, who have no other life than to spend a week in Montreal bellyaching, would have to stand by and watch the rest of the world become just like us – happy.