Political Correctness On Steroids

February 9, 2005

If you think I'm overreacting to political correctness on our nation's campuses, consider this. Austin Peay State University recently called for an investigation to look into a doll hanging from a tree on campus. The hypersensitive Timbuktu African-American Studies group took offense. After all, it was the beginning of Black History Month. A doll hanging from a tree could be a sinister political statement. The doll was cut down from the tree. It was . . . are you ready? . . . it was Spiderman. Yes, a foot-long inflatable Spiderman figure.

 

You would think once the identity of the doll was discovered those who caused such a stir would call off the dogs. But, no. They called in the FBI and the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation!

 

I thought I was in the Twilight Zone. I had to talk to someone at Austin Peay in hopes I had the story all wrong. I talked with Richard Jackson, APSU's senior advisor to the president for diversity, affirmative action and legal affairs. Mr. Jackson was a nice enough fellow but as our conversation progressed I sensed I was talking to a man who was trying to justify his salary.

 

He explained that there had been another incident in which a rope resembling a noose was found hanging from a tree back in November. He said that a rope and noose had come to represent racism. I could envision the banning of the game Hangman across America. I pressed for more details. It turned out the rope hanging in the tree was the result of a Halloween sign that had been attached to it blowing off.

 

Mr. Jackson then proceeded to tell me they called in the FBI and TBI to see if the two hanging incidents were related. Related? I thought the first incident was not race-related. It could have been, Jackson maintained. Even though the rope was the result of a blown down sign, it could've been done on purpose. Okay.

 

Let's flash forward to Spidey. How on earth is Spiderman hanging from a tree racist? I asked. It depends on the motivation behind the person who hung him there, Jackson claimed. So, it made no difference that the doll had nothing to do with black people, or race, for that matter. It only mattered what the person was thinking when he or she threw Spidey up in the tree.

 

I had to ask. “What if we find out the Green Goblin was behind this?” I fully expected a chuckle from the other end of the phone. There was no chuckle. Mr. Jackson, with a straight face, told me that it would depend on what motivated the person, fictitious or real. “Even if it was the Green Goblin?” I asked. “Even if it was the Green Goblin,” he answered.

 

By this point I could hear the music and Rod Serling was coming into focus. Is this what the college president's advisor for diversity, affirmative action and legal affairs does? And what if I called the FBI and told them Spiderman was hanging outside my window? Do you think they'd be right over to launch an official investigation? I'd be hauled off for making a prank call. Or, I'd be hauled off to the laughing academy.

 

The Austin Peay incident, unfortunately, is not isolated. It's becoming more and more prevalent. The recent flap with Ward Churchill, the University of Colorado professor who equated the victims of September 11 with Nazis, has focused attention on the drastic left turn our college campuses have taken. It's enough to make you want to home-college your kids.