February 10, 2006
Government intrusion seldom happens suddenly. The long arm of Big Brother creeps into our lives insidiously, like kudzu. If we don't beat it back when we first notice it, before too long, it's taken over. What's the latest battleground? Cupcakes.
Recently, the mother of one elementary school student in a Nolensville, TN school was told she could not celebrate her daughter's birthday by bringing cupcakes to her daughter's class. This time-honored tradition of treating the entire class to a taste of a child's birthday celebration has been innocuously observed for generations. I, myself, have participated by showing up at the school cafeteria with sprinkle-topped treats for my child's kindergarten class. The children squeal with delight at the sight of the tasty desserts and chase them down with the last swallow of milk from their miniature cartons.
This ritual is slowly becoming extinct.
Under the guise of fighting childhood obesity, some schools have taken a hard line against home-baked sweets. Administrators admit they've met resistance to the “cupcake ban” but predict the parents will just roll over and take it. The slow march toward parental rights usurpation is on. Schools and entire school districts across America have adopted similar cupcake bans. “Some parents still probably don't get it,” one principal said. “I think it won't be as difficult next year to carry this part of it out.”
No, it's the schools that just don't get it. Moms bearing cupcakes is as innocent as a playground game of dodgeball or a classroom game of musical chairs, both of which have been banned by many school districts, too. Now they've gone one child's pleasure too far.
I certainly understand the problem of child obesity. Too many children are sedentary slugs spending hours in front of a video game while munching on Twinkies and Doritos. Although my wife finds it bit obsessive, my mother limited us to just three cookies per day – if we were allowed to have any at all – and soft drinks were a rarity. But the responsibility for good nutrition has, historically, been left to the parents. Schools, no doubt, have a responsibility of their own to serve nutritious meals in the cafeteria but a quick perusal of my children's lunch menu found, among the healthy fare, corn dogs, chicken nuggets, refried beans and a cheese, pepperoni and sausage pizza. Cupcakes, by comparison, don't look so bad.
Well, there's the alternative to eating in the school cafeteria – packing your child's lunch. Ah, but that's where the government intrusion really gets annoying. State inspectors are now dispatched to schools and pre-schools to pry inside your child's lunchbox. I thought it was too incredible to believe, too, until I checked with the administrator of a local pre-school. She informed me that state inspectors routinely show up unannounced and rummage through paper bags and lunchboxes to see what the parents are sending to school with their little tykes. If the lunch is deemed inappropriate, the state marks off points and grades the entire school accordingly. Schools can augment a lunch that's not up to specs with food of their own but this particular administrator stressed to me that it wasn't her job to tell parents what to feed their kids. Her school suffers the consequences anyway.