Sexual Double Standards

February 23, 2005

The recent rash of attractive, young teachers having “sexual relations” with their students brings up an interesting social contradiction. Debra Lafave, a Florida teacher, is accused of sleeping with a 14-year-old student. Pamela Turner, a McMinnville, TN school teacher, is accused of having a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old student.

 

Juxtapose those cases with the Michael Jackson case. Whereas the teacher cases are framed as “sexual relations” by the news media, Jackson is accused of “molesting” a 13-year-old boy. Interesting. Why are these cases being treated differently? I have some theories.

 

First of all, there's the obvious. The Jackson case involves homosexuality, which most Americans still detest. As for the teacher/student cases, it largely depends on the gender of the critic. With few exceptions, callers to my talk show have had different takes on these cases depending on whether they are male or female. Women tend to envision their own son as the victim and want these women burned at the stake. Men tend to envision themselves as these teenage boys and are much more forgiving. One McMinnville caller summed up the public sentiment thusly: “There are basically three camps,” he said. “Women want her (Turner) drawn and quartered. Most men are furious at the boy for spilling the beans on her. And some men claim to be outraged by the case but really fall into the second category.”

 

This may be a rather simplistic analysis of a complex problem but it's not too far off the mark. That's not to say that I condone the behavior of these women but you must admit that there's not nearly the outrage over the teacher/student cases that there is over Michael Jackson.

 

There's hardly a man alive who didn't fantasize as a young lad about an older lady. Perhaps it's a teacher or one of his mom's friends. These fantasies are almost entirely sexual. Young girls have fantasies, too, but they tend to be more romantic, like having some older gentleman sweep them off their feet in some magical, mystical love affair.

 

Of course, I'm not naïve enough to think that young girls don't have sexual fantasies. However, those tend to be more taboo in our society than young boys lusting after older women. Hollywood has bolstered this double standard with “coming-of-age” movies like “Porky's” and “Risky Business.” Can you imagine an underwear-clad teenage female answer to Tom Cruise? Her parents are out of town and she makes it with a twenty-something gigolo? How do you think that would go over?

 

Guys, right or wrong, can relate to the young boys in these tragic cases of teacher/student relationships but are totally revolted by the thought of Michael Jackson molesting a young boy. Speaking as a male observer, the Jackson case strikes me as sinister. An innocent-acting adult lures young boys to his Disney-like ranch with the intentions of having sex with them. I had the same feeling about a high-school coach I knew who was caught having sex with several cheerleaders. He was run out of town on a rail. However, simultaneously, there was a voluptuous, young female teacher who would choose a boy or two each year from her class as her plaything. Everybody knew it. Nobody said a word. Guys clamored to get into her class.

 

At the core of each case is a breach of trust. Adults, who should know better, are taking advantage of children who don't. Despite how society views these relationships, they're wrong. It's up to us as parents to shield our children as best we can until they're old enough to make these decisions on their own.