The Poll Puppets
Commentary by Phil Valentine  / February 10, 1999

As of this writing, three Republicans have announced their intentions to vote against removing President Clinton from office. Just last weekend on This Week Without David Brinkley Senator Robert Byrd, a Democrat, revealed that Clinton's crimes rose to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors but indicated that the people do not want him removed. Senator Tom Harkin disrupted the Impeachment Trial in the early days by feigning objection to the word juror. His true frustration was revealed at a press conference afterwards. He complained that the House Managers were "trying to box us in with the facts" when they should be allowed to fulfill the will of the people. Majority Leader Lott frantically searched for a censure compromise before the trial started and continued to try to short-circuit the process because, according to him, the people wanted to put this behind them. The vast majority of Democratic Senators continue to agonize over parsed language to describe the President's actions, anything but call those actions what they really are: felonies. They substitute "mislead" where there is perjury. They gingerly refer to "delaying the truth" where there is obstruction of justice.

What do all of these senators have in common? To coin a phrase, they are all poll puppets, politicians whose every move is gauged by the latest survey of 1,001 Americans. Their strings are pulled by the latest whims of a fickle populace whose voice is distorted through unreliable polls. They base their decisions on samplings with margins of error of plus or minus 3 points. The trouble is, justice leaves no room for margin of error. These poll puppets are devoid of principle, their index fingers red and chapped from continuous moistening and sticking to the wind. Their political security is placed above all else through some warped notion that the Republic will surely cease to exist without their presence in the Well of the Senate. The poll puppets know no god but the god of popular opinion. They worship at the alter of Gallop and now bring their latest burnt offering; the charred remains of the United States Constitution.